Posted on 7:52 PM | By Supreme Kourt | In
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."- Psalm 34:4-5
This bible verse pumped the breaks for me as I read the book for my bible study last week. Worry is an epidemic that stretches across the globe. It is something that we as sinners do. Not necessarily because we are at fault, but simply because we do not communicate. Or rather, we do not listen. In my walk this past year, I have one common theme that has presented itself over and over again; I did not listen. My Grandmother told me to have faith that "God was working through me." She had said this so many times in my life and I had trusted her words. But, in the past 25 years she said that to me, that was the first time I really needed to listen.
Out of all the people to find out about what I had done last year, Grandma was the one person in my life that I was scared to inform. I knew what I did was somewhat parallel to a speeding ticket, but I had beaten myself up enough. As I swallowed back fear, I began to speak. I felt like I had eaten glass the words were so sharp and piercing getting out. It was painful as the sentences flew from my head to my vocal box and out of my mouth. Fear alone wanted me to hide, to run away; to swallow the glass and sit in pain like I had been doing. Once I let out what was cutting me inside, I began to heal. While her disappointment subsided, her love for me shined through. She did not look down on me, but better yet she looked at me. It was as if she had done the same thing. She said one sin was not better than the other. She opened her arms to me and told me that God loved me and to have faith that something was coming. It was in that moment that I knew she was right. In lieu of the mishaps that I had been going through, my Grandmother never judged me upon what I had done. She saw my heart.
That night I prayed like I had never prayed before. I told God that I had forgiven myself and that I needed to lean on him. That I worried about what people would think. I asked him to help me with the troubles that weighed so heavy on my heart. I was not scared anymore. I felt the love of God around me. I was at peace with myself for the first time in a very long time. I knew this was the beginning of something good.
In the book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World," Joanna Weaver touches on the sensitive subject that seems to weigh us all down; worry. The bible says that a worried heart is heavy. If we allow worry to consume our hearts we drive Jesus out. I learned that God speaks to our hearts and if well invite worry inside; only more worry will come out of it creating a heavy heart. Once we alleviate that burden, God comes in and begins to work through us! It was in my moment of weakness that my heart began to become lighter. I trusted Grandma's words and listened. I felt that fear had been shut out and the light had been let back inside.
I cast my fears to God and he was listening. I was finally allowing myself to begin a healing process. I was brought out of shame and into his understanding. "I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" Psalm 34:4-5.
<3 Sweet Dreams
This bible verse pumped the breaks for me as I read the book for my bible study last week. Worry is an epidemic that stretches across the globe. It is something that we as sinners do. Not necessarily because we are at fault, but simply because we do not communicate. Or rather, we do not listen. In my walk this past year, I have one common theme that has presented itself over and over again; I did not listen. My Grandmother told me to have faith that "God was working through me." She had said this so many times in my life and I had trusted her words. But, in the past 25 years she said that to me, that was the first time I really needed to listen.
Out of all the people to find out about what I had done last year, Grandma was the one person in my life that I was scared to inform. I knew what I did was somewhat parallel to a speeding ticket, but I had beaten myself up enough. As I swallowed back fear, I began to speak. I felt like I had eaten glass the words were so sharp and piercing getting out. It was painful as the sentences flew from my head to my vocal box and out of my mouth. Fear alone wanted me to hide, to run away; to swallow the glass and sit in pain like I had been doing. Once I let out what was cutting me inside, I began to heal. While her disappointment subsided, her love for me shined through. She did not look down on me, but better yet she looked at me. It was as if she had done the same thing. She said one sin was not better than the other. She opened her arms to me and told me that God loved me and to have faith that something was coming. It was in that moment that I knew she was right. In lieu of the mishaps that I had been going through, my Grandmother never judged me upon what I had done. She saw my heart.
That night I prayed like I had never prayed before. I told God that I had forgiven myself and that I needed to lean on him. That I worried about what people would think. I asked him to help me with the troubles that weighed so heavy on my heart. I was not scared anymore. I felt the love of God around me. I was at peace with myself for the first time in a very long time. I knew this was the beginning of something good.
In the book "Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World," Joanna Weaver touches on the sensitive subject that seems to weigh us all down; worry. The bible says that a worried heart is heavy. If we allow worry to consume our hearts we drive Jesus out. I learned that God speaks to our hearts and if well invite worry inside; only more worry will come out of it creating a heavy heart. Once we alleviate that burden, God comes in and begins to work through us! It was in my moment of weakness that my heart began to become lighter. I trusted Grandma's words and listened. I felt that fear had been shut out and the light had been let back inside.
I cast my fears to God and he was listening. I was finally allowing myself to begin a healing process. I was brought out of shame and into his understanding. "I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" Psalm 34:4-5.
<3 Sweet Dreams
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